Twas the night before Halloween
by slightlyevilpixi
Summary: The other houses are sick of the Slytherin's attitude, and try and play a prank of their own, which has unexpected consequences! Warning, yet again I was inspired by the 'Twas the night before Christmas' so it, er- well, it rhymes! Hope you enjoy! Disclaimer- I am not JK and own nothing!


Twas the night before Halloween, and all through Hogwarts

Every witch and wizard seemed a little out of sorts

In Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor too

There was the notion that revenge was long over due

On that nasty house Slytherin, for they were so mean

And obsessed with their stupid pureblood gene-line

So that later that night in the room of requirement

Sat three houses keeping mysteriously silent

Until the meeting was called into action

And they began plotting with great satisfaction

And so Harry said 'We're here for revenge as you know

After that incident last week with the Slytherin's snow'

They had pulled a prank you see;

The floor of the Hall became suddenly icy

It had taken hours for them to clear up the hall

And several had suffered a nasty fall

Their bruised derrieres did nothing to brighten their mood

And they were all quite sick of the Slytherin attitude

So three houses came together that night

To come up with a trick which would serve them quite right

But before they could serve up the snake's pride on a plate:

They had to think of a plan for the house they did hate

And time was flying by, it was getting quite late

After all, it _was_ nearly _half past eight_!

So they 'erred' and they 'hmmed' and thought really hard

But their plans were all rubbish and would leave Slytherin unscarred

But they kept on thinking, and they persevered

Until the confusion suddenly cleared

'Aha!' cried Cho- that smart Ravenclaw

'I know what that evil house will abhor

Manners and pleasentries- do you get it yet?

_We will get them to learn proper Etiquette!'_

'That's stupid' said Ron 'It will only bore them'

Hermione disagreed 'They hate proper decorum!

We'll bring in the big guns- we need that ministry hag!'

'No! Surely not! That stuffy old bag?'

Neville cried out with a look of dismay

But Hermione said ruthlessly 'It's the only way!

Oh yes, we need that toady witch!

She's perfect because she's such a b-'

'DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE YOUNG LADY!

LANGUAGE LIKE THAT IS FAR TOO SHADY!'

Cut in a mysterious newcomer as they burst through the door

'Maybe it's _you_ who needs my services more?'

Hermione stared looking flabbergast

'Oh yes, it's me, I return at last!'

Cried the stranger as they lowered their hood

And there before them Umbridge stood...

'I can sniff out poor manners from miles away-

I just knew I'd be needed back at Hogwarts one day!

But there's just one problem with your clever little plan,

All _four_ houses need me- Just look at that man!'

She pointed out Ron who was slouched over drooling

'Yes, it will be tough, and it will be gruelling,

But I won't just settle for improving Slytherin

ALL seventh years must learn to fit in

At banquets, and soirees and dinners and balls

So I'll see you tomorrow at six in the halls'

And with that from the room she gleefully fled

And all of the students retired to bed

Dreading the events of the following day

The only comfort being that Slytherin would pay.

And so in the morning the torture began

To start- how to talk like a true gentleman;

'I say' 'good day' and 'would you care for more tea?'

They chanted as Umbridge watched on carefully

The boys practiced helping a girl into her seat

The girls learnt how to sit still and how to look neat,

They then ate a meal with twenty-one courses

And discussed weather and dancing and beef steaks and horses

'That's it!' grumbled Hermione with a loud huff

'I'm out, I'm done! I've had enough!'

She would need some help though and glanced round the table

Who was clever enough, who was mentally able?

To plot an escape they would have to unite

Put their hatred aside and join in a fight

Against the torture to which they were being subjected

But to escape from the halls and stay undetected

She would need the aid of someone cunning and sly

She looked to her left and who did she spy?

Ron. No, no, no that just wouldn't do

He was a subtle as a facial tattoo.

She looked to her right and who did she spy?

Malfoy of course, that dashing young guy!

She put into practice the manners she had learned

'Excuse me good sir' and towards her he turned

'Yes Madam? May i be of assistance?

'Yes indeed good Malfoy we must form a resistance!'

'Against the Dark Lord? I'm afraid I have to decline

I have been a supporter for quite some time'

'No, no Malfoy you misunderstand

Lord Voldy isn't the issue at hand

Umbridge is the one we must now overthrow

So how about a second round of that magical snow?'

'Great scots could this be, that little miss boring

Want's me to make icy the dining room's flooring?

Well, Miss Granger my dear, I must say I'm impressed!

And it's a gentleman's duty to help a lady distressed

But there is one little problem, I have to confess

The plan of escape we have to address

If we make the floor icy, yes she will fall

But does that actually help our exit at all?

No instead to get free we must make a distraction...'

'Eureka!' and with that Hermione leapt into action.

The plan was spread from ear to ear

And then was formed a untied frontier

As the minutes went by they continued to mingle

And pretended that they were not awaiting the signal

But then as the clock began to chime

Hermione cackled with mirth, it was finally time!

Time to commit the most extreme society rudeness

To all act as though they were socially cluless;

So bravely pretending to be an etiquette sinner

Malfoy began discussing his money at dinner

'There's gold and galleons galore at my mansion

My bank account's full, I need an expansion!'

Umbridge stared appalled her right eye was twitching

Her face flushed red and her breath started hitching

'WHAT DID YOU SAY?' the toady witch bellowed

Malfoy looked scared, his pale face yellowed

With Umbridge distracted students dashed to the doors

Helping hand and in hand were the Gryffindors

With Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Slytherins too!

What with Umridge focused on that social taboo

'Get out Hermione!' Draco hissed

For Umbridge was approaching, she looked really pissed

'I can't just go, and leave you here!'

'I fine, just go! The exit is clear'

'I never abandon people, not even you

We clearly bonded over the fondue

Don't worry Draco I'll get us both away safe!

I'm not some damsel, some delicate waife!

I know the snow! I'll use it now!'

And so down Umbridge went, that darned awful cow

And over her our two heros did hurdle

As she was attempting to straighten her gurdle

And despite the scarring of seeing that sight

The pair got away in one piece with no fight.

From that moment on the year were all friends

And attempts of revenge were put to their ends

And as for those two bright young things

Malfoy wanted them to have a quick wild fling

But Hermione retained the lessons Umbridge had taught

And offered up a compromise of sorts

And so they decided to go on a date

Casting aside their passionate hate

Umbridge claimed it was her, they claimed it was fate

They had such fun and thought it was great

Don't tell anyone; they got home late!

I know! Scandalous- it was well past eight!


End file.
